919.815.2672···Working Together for the best...always!
SANITY AND THE SINGLE PARENT !
SINGLE PARENTS are essentially UNPARTNERED PARENTS, whose myriad of (unshared) responsibilities can often overburden even the most vigilant two-parent households. The challenge faced by single parents is compounded, as the necessity to compromise and sometimes relenquish goals and objectives becomes our new "parenting partner". Often pressed to make decisions without the provision of likeminded adult deliberation and feedback, the succesful single parent must identify and sustain realistic objectives, while redefining previous expectations and procedures. With time, the single parent may ascertain that help offered is not always HELP. Carefully scrutinize help source options...whether personal or professional. While seeming at times arduous, unpartnered parents must purposefully secure for themselves, together with their children, family-gratifying experiences as a major component to a confidently established pattern of family life.
Continue to remind yourself: "THIS TOO, SHALL PASS". The worst situations, given time and perspective, will often provide fodder for great conversation topics.
Connect with other single parents. It may take a few attempts before you find a good match, but it will prove worth the effort when one is made. Another single parent will be facing many of the same challenges, and consequently provide support and hopefully direction to achieve reasonable objectives and/or solutions. The Triangle area offers many venues of family interest and fun. Numerous groups, locations and resources are abundant in our area, from which single parent families may benefit.
A relatively new group for single parents extends an open invitation, requesting that I post their site link for any interested parties.. You will find a link to their info below. I welcome your comments and questions.
Will frequently become the target of peripheral advice-givers. Often advice is doled out by a friend, family member or co-worker who either intentionally or subconsciously:
Is a chronic advice-giver
Is tired of hearing your troubles and is seeking a way to quiet you.
Will expect you to take their advice, and if you don't, they may become irritated, and/or subsequently distance themselves.
Is unfamiliar with the entire spectrum of variables in your situation, and (regardless of positive intent,) may be advising directives capable of generating irreversable negative impact to your family's general health.
May be motivated by a desire to accomplish something outside of providing help for you.
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
What is my relationship with this person/organization, and has a history of helpful advice and support from this source been previously established and habitually executed?
What is this person's style of response to their own personal disappointments and unexpected events?
How do you feel after spending time with this person?
Is this a government agency?
Do you trust this person? (In our current society, trust must be earned)
Before I share personal information about my circumstances with anyone outside of our household, can I determine ways in which they could possibly misunderstand and respond?
QUESTION TO ASK THE ADVICE-GIVER
If I follow your advice, what will you do to (fix it) support me, in the event that doing so fails or worsens the situation? (This is a highly effective tool to quickly defer the topic of conversation!)
A CUSTODIAL PARENT REMAINS THE HOME PRINCIPAL, AND THUS SHOULD BE PRESENT AND INCLUDED IN COUNSELING AND/OR MENTORING (AT EVERY INSTANCE ) THROUGHOUT THE HOME-BASED TENURE OF EACH CHILD.
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